“Are you going to miss me?” she asked. How could she even pose that question to him? Didn’t she realize how torturous all this was for him? Seeing her arrive only to know that she couldn’t stay and would leave again. That she had to go where she didn’t belong. Her life, the one he wanted to be part of but couldn’t. Away from him. Always away from him. Always leaving. With him left standing there alone in the end.
He didn’t want to think about how painful it would be again. But when she asked him like that he had no choice. He had no time to refocus and quickly get on with his own life. No chance to flood his mind with some kind of mind numbing distraction. He would end up thinking back about being with her, seeing her, talking to her, feeling her undoubted love. Then he would remember watching her leave and how it was the most painful thing he had to go through. Over and over again. It had turned into the saddest routine in his life.
He tried to make her understand. He wanted her to fully realize what she meant to him and how every day seemed to get better and worse, both in equal measure. He felt more deeply about her with each passing moment. But that pain, it wouldn’t be denied or left behind. It kept catching up to him, reminding him with its sharp blades every time it sliced into his heart that it would not go away.
“Of course I will miss you,” was all he could barely get out. A few simple words but a mountain of hidden emotion behind them. How he wished she could see!
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